Trusting the Journey

I've heard it said that happiness never comes to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.  And while I have always agreed with this in principle,  I don't think I ever fully understood what it meant.... Until this week.

When I decided to join in on this mission trip to Haiti, It never really dawned on me what it meant, or why I was doing it.  It just seemed like the thing to do, and I thought it would be a great experience.  So off to Haiti I went.....and this is where reality hit. What the heck was I thinking???????

When you land in Haiti for a short-term mission, you know that while the living conditions aren't perfect, they are indeed temporary.  You know you're going home at the end of the week. Back to your cars, soft beds, comfortable lives.  So a week of "communal living" seems tolerable....short term.

Yet even though I KNEW these things, somehow over the first few days of this mission I started questioning why I was doing this.  WHY had I chosen to exchange my comfortable bed and hot shower for a shared room with no air conditioning?  WHY had I agreed to tiny and uncomfortable bedding, cold showers, and tap water that makes you sick?  Why had I, a self-admitted introvert, chosen to share a house with 15 other people who were almost all complete strangers?   WHY???

At one point in the week I seriously started to question my sanity, as I didn't really have a reason. I just knew I needed to do this. I needed to trust the journey and know that somewhere along the way the answer would present itself.

This week has been very different than what I expected it would be.  This week has been both physically challenging and emotionally draining. But in the same regard, as I closed my eyes at the end of every night, I felt something I hadn't felt in a very, very long time. I felt like I made a difference.

Somedays the difference was bringing water to people who desperately needed it.  Sometimes the difference was making a child feel safe and loved through the simple act of holding them. In all situations, regardless of the active purpose, the message delivered by my team was always the same ...."You Matter".

So, as I sit here, on the eve of my last day in Haiti, I look back at the week and wonder if I am able to articulate WHY I needed to come to Haiti now?  And I think my answer would be a resounding "maybe".

I believe that I will walk away from this experience a forever changed person. A more compassionate person. A more tolerant person.  But I also believe that some of my biggest changes will come when I leave the mission and return home.

Things that used to be big issues will now seem trite and silly in comparison to what I have just witnessed.  And many of the lessons learned here will be brought forward and shared. You cannot come to a place like this and not take a piece of it home with you. How you choose to bring it home is a choice only you can make. For it's your journey. And if you trust that your journey will bring to you what you need, then however you share it will never be less than heavenly perfection.

Melody Healey